This is about the best thing you can do to pull six-pack ab babes. The patch says to the woman, ‘I’ve been in combat and survived.’ Her genes will make her go all soft for you. But let’s say you’ve not been in battle. How will you get an eyepatch? Now don’t be silly and do something stupid. Just buy one.
Stick it on when you go to the bar. It helps to limp a bit and I’ll explain why later. The most important thing with the eyepatch is to KEEP IT ON THE SAME EYE! Now this may sound absurd, but think ten Camparis down the line. You go into the toilet and wash your face. The patch comes off and confused by the mirror image you put it on the wrong eye. This is a no-no. It happened to me. The chick said after staring for some time, ‘didn’t you have that patch the other way round before?’ She left, later told her friends I was a fraud.
Why is it good to limp? Well, what happens if you the bird you are chatting up is, unbeknownst to you, going out with the head bouncer? The limp will save you. Are bouncers really going to beat up a man injured on the field of honour?