‘What good are dreams if they come true?’
Frederick Exley
How many times have we saved money to buy an item, anxiously awaited having the right amount, yes!, raced down to the shop and bought it, raced home and set it up, whatever it might be, admired it, only to find that in a very short time we are completely bored with our purchase?
Boredom then often turns to loathing. We become nauseated by the sight of it, and sometimes even entertain thoughts of throwing the item on a bonfire.
‘They love you for being what they all want to be, but they hate you for being what they are not.’
I know a man who spent many years building a fine manor, filling it with things he loved. One day he was sitting in the chair with a whiskey after finishing the dream house. He was looking around at all the things he’d collected, a bit of antique pottery there, a painting, a fine chair. He told me that after some minutes he thought about burning the house down with everything in it.
A married couple spent years and a small fortune creating an overseas villa, a dream home. It had two pools and, job done, they sat by the pool to admire their handiwork. They looked around at the splendour–then decided to sell it and move back home.
Some Russian billionaires pay a company to provide them with ‘vagabond makeup’ and filthy clothes so they can play the role of bum-for-a-day.
Dreams that harden into realities seem no good. This is why the ‘curtain is lowered’ just at the right time in mainstream films and books. Dream achieved–stop the show! The audience must never be allowed to see what happens next. The more unrealistic, unachievable a fantasy is the better it is. We are only happy when fantasizing about future happiness: ‘The hunt is better than the kill.’
Jacque Lacan tells us that it is not the villa, or the TV, or the new car we want, but rather we want ‘the wanting’ of it. It’s the buildup, the looking forward to we’re after. Once a goal is achieved the main pleasure of it is gone, for that pleasure was the wanting of the item not the item itself. We stand in the room looking at our smart, thin HD TV and wonder, ‘why did I even buy this?’
As Lacan says, ‘as soon as you get what you want you don’t want it anymore.’
How many people look forward to retirement? ‘I can’t wait!’ But what happens when the day comes? Many people deliberately put it off, delay it: ‘Well I still have to pay this and that and the kids, the kids are still in school.’ But I suspect the real reason is fear. ‘What shall I do? How will I occupy my time?’ A significant proportion of people die shortly after they retire. From ‘busyness’ to emptiness. It’s the ‘wanting’ of retirement we want, not the retirement.
The word ‘celebrity’ is derived from the Latin ‘celebritas’, from ‘celeber’, meaning ‘frequented, populous’. There is a big problem with fame as Spinoza tells us, ‘fame has also this great drawback, that if we pursue it we must direct our lives in such a way as to please the fancy of men, avoiding what they dislike and seeking what pleases them.’
So you must, as a rule, follow the wishes of a mob, the Herd.
Everyone wants to be rich and famous. But what happens when you accomplish it all? Many say they would go and sit on the beach and sip cocktails, watch the sunset, but go and try it. You’d quickly find yourself bored silly and seek out new stimulation. It’s a safe bet that most people, their desires completely satisfied, would go mad.
I should think this is behind the actions of some celebrities who continuously take photos of themselves and tell us what they are doing each day. They’ve attained massive fame and money is no problem. But boredom, and possibly a fear of becoming suddenly unknown, falling into obscurity, drives them on to new heights. More photos, more of what they did, constantly upping the ante. It’s as if they are lost at sea on a small rubber boat that they must keep inflating lest it sinks.
‘ Fame is like a river, that beareth up things light and swollen, and drowns things weighty and solid.’
Francis Bacon
Liz Taylor once expressed her horror over exiting a cinema after an opening night and seeing countless thousands of fans outside half of which were shoving popcorn into their mouths. As Pirsig writes in Lila:
‘They love you for being what they all want to be, but they hate you for being what they are not.’
photo credit: ‘Tantalus’ h.koppdelaney via photopin cc
